Teenage years are filled with new experiences, such as first crushes, relationships, and more. While these things are exciting, learning how to navigate these relationships as a teen can play an important role in how they view healthy relationships as adults. Teens need to learn how to navigate emotions and boundaries early on. Unfortunately, many adolescents receive mixed messages about what a healthy relationship looks like from social media, movies, TV shows, and even their peers.
Many negative behaviors, such as jealousy, stalking, being overprotective, controlling a partner’s actions, or constantly checking someone’s location, are romanticized rather than displayed as warning signs and red flags in an unhealthy relationship. This is why it’s so important to have conversations with your teen about what a healthy relationship looks like.
Healthy Relationships Are Built On Respect
Mutual respect is at the heart of every healthy relationship. Each person in the relationship should feel safe, respected, valued, and supported. Partners should encourage each other’s goals, friendships, and independence. Both partners should celebrate each other’s successes and accept differences of opinion without intimidation, threats, fear, or insults.
The Importance Of Communication
A healthy relationship should have open and honest communication. Safe communication looks like:
- Listening without interruption
- Expressing feelings honestly, respectfully, and without fear of repercussions
- Solving problems together
- Respecting boundaries and giving space when asked for
If a member of the relationship is handling an argument or disagreement by yelling, making threats, name-calling, or giving the other person the “silent treatment” for an extended period, they may be in an unhealthy relationship.
Establishing Boundaries
Everyone has the right to establish boundaries, and the other partner should respect those boundaries without guilt, pressure, or manipulation. It is so important for your teen to understand that a partner who consistently oversteps, pushes, tests, or breaks the other’s boundaries is not normal behavior.
They should never, ever feel pressured to do something they aren’t comfortable with just because they are in a relationship with someone. Comfort and consent come first, and it is important to explain that feeling pressured into anything, such as sharing passwords, revealing their location, sending intimate photos, or engaging in physical intimacy, is wrong.
Trust and Privacy
Technology has created new opportunities for unhealthy behavior in a relationship, and if your teenager is unaware of it, controlling behavior may be dismissed as normal.
Things such as:
- Demanding passwords to social media
- Constantly checking their location
- Expecting immediate responses to texts
- Becoming angry when a partner spends time with friends or family
- Reading private messages without permission
This behavior is a display of control, not a healthy relationship. Both partners should be able to maintain their privacy, trust, independence, and relationships without fear of repercussions.
Warning Signs and Red Flags To Look Out For
Teaching your teen about red flags may help them avoid individuals with unhealthy behaviors before they enter a relationship with them.
Look out for:
- Extreme jealousy
- Possessiveness
- Pressure to engage in sexual activity
- Blaming the other person for their behavior
- Controlling what someone wears or who they spend time with
- Constant criticism
- Isolation from friends or family
Your Teen Deserves A Healthy Relationship
Every teen deserves a relationship where they are respected, loved, and valued. Having a conversation with your teenager may feel intimidating, but it is so important to educate them on what a healthy relationship looks like. By teaching teens what healthy love looks like, we can help them understand the dangers of relationship abuse, recognize red flags, and build the skills needed for healthy relationships throughout their lives.
